work with me not against me

[ Category - Aphorism ][ infocure ]

This is one of my favourite and most effective mantras.

I remember working on a leetcode problem with a friend once, and we both independently came up with two different approaches for a solution. We didn't have time to code it up so we just discussed how our approaches would work.

After a quick explanation, it was quite evident that my proposed algorithm was fundamentally faulty and wouldn't really solve the problem.

For some reason, after the inadequecy of my own proposition was exposed, I unconsciously tried my absolute best to find some fault with my friend's solution. I somehow transformed into the wet dream of the undergraduate-engineering-student-QA-low-pay internship that are plastered over all second-year student job boards. I was handing out edge cases for free, I didn’t ask to change the code, I didn’t offer any original thought beyond trying my absolute to break the system.

After a while of this my friend paused and said

Dude, work with me, not against me

I’m not sure why it hit me like a bag of potatoes in the face, but it did. It at once evinced my petulance and invited an opportunity for cooperation.

It is the breakdown-buildup cycle captured in an atomic operation. It is to die and be reborn in an instant.

I promptly started offering solutions, workarounds, and just overall being a better discussion partner. I’m not sure we ever really wrote the code for that leetcode, but this mantra has stayed with me.

It’s basically an escape hatch to the double adult stage in PAC psychology.

When communications break down, remember this phrase.

Work with me, not against me.